In Which I Venture into the Mythical Realm of Credit Reports

I could rant about the disgust I feel for cut-throat corporate greed, and how I feel that certain industries should be run solely as not-for-profit (not as a charity, per say, but as an institution not bent on reaping profits) such as the the insurance and health care industry - and, I feel, much of the finance industry.

It's one thing if your a multi-millionaire looking to buy a yacht. Fine, take out a loan - if you need one; hell, I'd pay cash for that - and let the industry charge you all the interest and fees they want.

However, if you are the average American, you should be able to access your credit report and know your credit score without having to shell out money. I don't understand why - how - businesses can CHARGE YOU for giving you information about you.

But I won't rant about that (um, except for that little bit that slipped out). Instead I'll just mention that I'm a teeny bit ANNOYED (I'm sorry, I seem to have an attack of Lewis Black capital letter rage) at the Mass.gov website. Since Deval redecorated the State House, that website has been less helpful than ever (something was better under the Mitt? Unbelievable). The latest case of hidden information: finding the web address to access my once-a-year free credit report (gee, thanks. That's like handing out a monthly saltine cracker to a starving child in Darfur.).

I honestly had to ask for help from our CFO to track down the information (I'm going to bullet point out this so you can see the chain I had to go through) hidden in:

• the middle of the FAQ section (who looks at those, honestly) of
• the Consumer Credit section of
• the Consumer Protection section of
• the Attorney General's section of
• the Mass.gov website.

And when I used the website's search function to find this information, did it work? Oh no. Of course not. (And let me point out that I usually help other people find information on the internet).

And so that you may benefit from my labor I bequeath you the website address so you can request your free annual credit reports (but not your actual credit score, oh no. That's only available for an extra $10!).

And let me tell you that even after you reach the Shangri-La of webpages, it's still not easy. There are three different agencies you can collect this information from, but I only managed to procure information from one of them.

The first one confused me with all of their "Pay $10 to see the amazing flea circus" links, and so I left the page without ever finding my information (and now that information is closed to me until next March 4th).

The second - Equifax - was fairly straight forward. They had more previous addresses listed for me than I would have ever remembered on my own! I still don't know my credit score, but I think it's pretty good as there was nothing bad on my Equifax report.

The third asked me so many security questions - which I'm not complaining about at all, except that: even I couldn't answer them correctly, and so I was not allowed to view my report.

Thus ends my first expedition into the land of finance and consumer information. I almost didn't get out alive (mostly because I nearly had an aneurysm from rage and frustration) but I hope that my experiences will benefit y'all.

Call and Response to Close the Sermon:
ME: May the Force be with you.
YOU: And also with you
ALL: Amen.