Phlegm-tastic

Sometime - somewhere - between yesterday morning and this morning, I was body slammed by germs. I wish I could be more specific, a virus or bacteria but I can't. They're wearing those cliché face masks that bad guys wear when holding up a corner store.

I knew something wasn't quite right when I left work on Monday. I was ridiculously thirsty - encroaching Sahara Desert-like dryness. Sand dunes piling up in my throat.

Then, carrying one bag of groceries home nearly wiped me out. I wasn't sure if I would make it. I was crossing the Sahara with ten bags of groceries and no camel to help me.

Exhausted when I finally reached home, I decided not to go to knitting, although I had been looking forward to showing off the progress on my baby blanket. (I would post a pic, but I'm at home on a dial-up modem ... )

The unquenchable thirst continued, but I didn't feel bad. This morning, though, was another thing all together.

I was - still am - tired, achy, and full of phlegm. Brightly colored, fun-fetti (phugn-phegty) phlegm. Ugh.

Residing in my sinus cavities is a gelatinous, oozing creature. Slogging around with a gross sucking sound, it wallows in its oozing goo.

If I could just shove a crochet hook up my nose, I could pull it out - a pulsating, runny mass.

(Are you grossed out? I hope so.)

I could put in Tupperware and take it to some lab for testing. It could be a new life form.

After it was disposed of, I would inject my cavities and throat with some aloe vera cream in an attempt to satiate the raging thirst.

I also need a new bed - a pillow top with extra down padding. My usually comfortable bed may as well be a slab of concrete as far as my aching body is concerned (hence I'm sitting at the computer - it's the same level of discomfort).

There. I hope I've managed to spread a little self-pitying misery.