At a Memorial Day cook-out at Kelly's place in Worcester on Monday, I stumbled across a terrifying discovery:
Worcester is going to be attacked.
The infiltration has already started, as you can see in this picture below:
Oh sure, they look like innocent lawn ornaments, but they're really on a reconnaissance mission.
And they're everywhere.
One was almost taken out by a bocce ball.
As you can see here, while these people innocently play bocce, a spy - cleverly disguised as a raccoon lawn ornament - keeps a close eye on their game. More discreetly, you can see a pink flamingo lurking in the bushes behind them.
You're thinking this is just a joke - the harmless hobby of an elderly lady. But I have more proof. A couple of years ago when I was blessed to own one Izzy-the-dog, she noticed the dark nature of these things we innocently dismiss as "chachki" lawn ornaments. Izzy would bark at them. Normally a very quiet, friendly dog, she would bark insistently at certain lawn ornaments she viewed as threatening.
If only I had listened! This sudden infiltration of lawn ornaments could have been averted. But now we're on the brink of disaster.
Some one call the NSA - we've got an immanent invasion on our hands!
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1 comment:
Wow, and it was all happening right in front of my nose. Maybe we need to deply a batallion of plastic Army men to defend us.
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