Watch out, Worcester

At a Memorial Day cook-out at Kelly's place in Worcester on Monday, I stumbled across a terrifying discovery:

Worcester is going to be attacked.

The infiltration has already started, as you can see in this picture below:

Oh sure, they look like innocent lawn ornaments, but they're really on a reconnaissance mission.

And they're everywhere.

One was almost taken out by a bocce ball.







As you can see here, while these people innocently play bocce, a spy - cleverly disguised as a raccoon lawn ornament - keeps a close eye on their game. More discreetly, you can see a pink flamingo lurking in the bushes behind them.

You're thinking this is just a joke - the harmless hobby of an elderly lady. But I have more proof. A couple of years ago when I was blessed to own one Izzy-the-dog, she noticed the dark nature of these things we innocently dismiss as "chachki" lawn ornaments. Izzy would bark at them. Normally a very quiet, friendly dog, she would bark insistently at certain lawn ornaments she viewed as threatening.


If only I had listened! This sudden infiltration of lawn ornaments could have been averted. But now we're on the brink of disaster.

Some one call the NSA - we've got an immanent invasion on our hands!